Aisu Kurimu
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: [Tokyo Babylon] Subaru thought he was going to have a nice peaceful Sunday...and he did, only it was a little different than he expected or wanted...


Disclaimer: Tokyo Babylon and Wish belong to Clamp. 'I Wish' is sung by Ali Project while 'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic' is by the Police.   
  
/"Do I have to tell the story  
  
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met  
  
It's a big enough umbrella  
  
But it's always me that ends up getting wet."/  
  
Aisu kurimu.  
  
[Mahou! San!]  
  
By miyamoto yui  
  
There was a wide garden filled with all kinds of flowers, but with a sakura tree right in the middle of it all. It illuminated some kind of light and Subaru was attracted to its beauty.  
  
Feeling contented and peaceful, he walked up to the sakura tree and touched it. Looking up to its branches, the reddish pink petals fell like quiet rain upon him. To absorb and remember this wonderful feeling, he closed his eyes.  
  
Softly, he began to sing to himself and the tree,  
  
"Anata ga soba ni ireba,   
  
Donna yuuki motteru…"   
  
Subaru found himself singing these words, but when he opened his eyes, he found himself blinded by the light of the sun shining through his window.   
  
He had forgotten to close the window last night when he had looked at the moon. It was so clear and beautiful yesterday that he just stared at it. He wondered if he could have a good dream because of it. Somehow, that prayer was answered.  
  
It was so rare for him to be by himself, or rather, be at one place quietly. It was hard when you had Hokuto pulling you to one side of the mall or Seishirou trying to catch your attention enough to buy you something when you didn't want anything from him.  
  
No, Subaru just treasured being with both of them.  
  
"I wish, My wish…" Hokuto sang from the kitchen and he had wondered if that was the reason why he was dreaming with that song stuck inside of his head. Then again, that was Hokuto's new favorite tune of the week.  
  
It had all the sparkle, cuteness, and genkiness that represented Hokuto. "Yup, that _will_ be the new favorite song for the whole _month_," he thought to himself.  
  
But Subaru stayed in bed. Like a little kid with a teddy bear, he hugged his white pillow and smiled at nothing in particular. He was just glad that there was no school today (not that he could go that often anyway) and no shigoto to run off to either.  
  
It was just going to be a layback day. Or so he thought.  
  
"When was the last day I've had this type of vacation?" he whispered to himself as he looked up the ceiling. "Three months ago, huh?"  
  
He just shrugged his shoulders and got up. Fixing up his bed, he got a blue, short-sleeved turtleneck and white shorts from the closet as he headed for the shower.  
  
"Ohayo!" Hokuto greeted happily as she stuck her head out from the kitchen.  
  
"Ohayo!" he answered back, but there was this unnerving touch to her face. He gave her a deadpan look. "I can see it in your face."  
  
"What?" She then looked at her reflection from the polished spoon in her hand. "Ah, thanks!"  
  
She rubbed off the flour from her face.  
  
He blinked at her and shook his head. "You have _that_ tone in your voice."  
  
"Hmm? What tone?" She then shook her head and smiled. "Go take your shower and let's eat breakfast."  
  
"Unless you need help with that too, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou suggested with a smirk as he also stuck out his head from the kitchen door right above Hokuto. "And good morning to me!"  
  
"Eh heh heh. Hello, Seishirou-san." * blink, blink *  
  
Subaru just continued to smile, blink, and gave a weak wave back while thinking, "Maybe, I'm still dreaming. Maybe I'm still dreaming…"  
  
He turned around, but when he looked back, they were still looking at him. Then, he headed for the shower with his head hanging from his shoulders.  
  
"I knew my quiet morning wouldn't last too long," he thought while sighing.  
  
As Subaru took his shower, he couldn't help but think about his dream though. "It was a wonderful dream, though," he concluded.  
  
He tried to recall how it felt at that moment when had reached out to the tree and thought to himself how remarkable it was. Its petals may have looked interesting because they looked like they had been hand-painted with red and white, but he could not forget its aura.  
  
It was very peaceful as if he could sleep there forever and ever because it was just that peaceful.  
  
It was a feeling he rarely felt.  
  
It was a feeling that had only come to him once before.  
  
Weirdly, it was a few days after his grandmother had told him he was cursed by the star marks imprinted on the skin of his hands. Of course, being so young, if someone told you that you were going to die, you would fear living at all.  
  
But with these hands, he had been liberated in some way. Disgusting as it may have been, someone was watching him. Maybe it was his death angel, but there was someone waiting for him at the end of the road.  
  
He thought he would always be alone because no one could reach his status, both in society as an elite, or as omnyouji. But there was someone watching.  
  
Repulsive as this thought may be to others, it comforted him somewhat.  
  
He wasn't alone.  
  
Someone was with him and they could understand. Even if it was only a little. Even if he wasn't good at explaining his thoughts and opinions to others.  
  
It was then that Subaru turned off the shower and dried himself with a towel. He began to dress himself as he found himself looking at that the mirror before him in between all the changing.  
  
At that hanami they had all shared together, Subaru thought for a split-second that it was Seishirou. When Seishirou had repeated the same words as the boy in his dream, he was shocked because he thought the words were so gruesome and yet he wanted to know.  
  
He wanted to know if it was him, regardless.  
  
Only, was he strong enough to swallow this?  
  
He didn't know.  
  
Subaru then returned to his room to put his things in the hamper.  
  
He thought his death angel would be as beautiful and feminine as that sakura tree in his dream. He had waited for someone to understand him so well as that, wordlessly.  
  
But at that time of hanami, Seishirou was the one who had stepped forth.  
  
He minded that they were both men, but in the endless search for the person who had given him their trademark on his hands, he fancied the idea of Seishirou being the one he had been seeking. And with that, he was willing to find out after waiting for so long.  
  
So, even if this person was male also, Subaru tried to see past that. With prompting from Hokuto, of course. Lots of it.  
  
To get through the little miscommunications, society's views, and his own shyness. These had been challenges in themselves.  
  
Subaru held his smile as he opened the kitchen door and sat down at the counter to have breakfast.  
  
"So what are we eating to-Mmph!"  
  
Seishirou just shoved a piece of okonomiyaki into Subaru's mouth. Immediately, Subaru chomped on it, blinked, and turned red in embarrassment. He also waved his hands like a chibi at that moment.  
  
Hokuto laughed as she ate her portion and held her chopsticks in the air while leaning her cheek on her left palm. "You don't have to do everything I suggest, Sei-chan! Then again, it makes me happy."  
  
Subaru looked around for his nonexistent plate and found that Seishirou was holding up his black chopsticks out for him. "Now say, 'Ahh'."  
  
"Hey, where's my portion?" Subaru asked as Seishirou answered with a pout and an 'innocent face', "Hokuto-chan said that I had to start training early."  
  
Suspiciously, he questioned, "E-early training? For what?"  
  
Seishirou then pulled on his collar as he replied, "As my future sister-in-law, if she doesn't see I'm taking total care of you, she'll pretty much kick my ass."  
  
Clearing his throat, he nodded to himself.  
  
"Hokuto…" I said as I took a bite, unwillingly, from Seishirou's chopsticks.  
  
Hokuto laughed again. "Ohohohoho! I'm only looking out for you."  
  
Without flinching, pointing a knife to Seishirou's neck, she threatened, "Make him unhappy, you'll be useless without your tongue."  
  
Satisfied, she smiled and let go of the knife as Seishirou laughed along with her.  
  
"I don't understand them sometimes." Subaru continued to eat quietly without protesting further to being fed, lest he incur the wrath of his sister. He sweatdropped while smiling hesitantly at both of them.  
  
He'd rather live to talk about it, ne?  
  
After breakfast, Hokuto brought out a list from the pocket of her black angel outfit, complete with mini artificial wings. Giving the list to Seishirou, she said, "Now, this is what you'll do for the rest of the day."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Subaru cutely raised his eyebrow while he tried to catch a glimpse of the list.  
  
Seishirou took it away. "It's the itinerary that Hokuto-chan and I came up with for our date today."  
  
"Excuse me?" Subaru got up and blinked at them while pointing at himself. Blushing more than ever, he asked, "You forgot one thing?"  
  
"We forgot one thing?" they both asked as they both scanned the list and then back at Subaru.  
  
"Yeah." Subaru, with a vein almost popping to one side of his head while he folded his arms together. "You forgot to tell _me_."  
  
They went back to talking with one another, ignoring Subaru.  
  
"We did think of you. That's why we made the date." Hokuto patted him on the head as he remained standing up, astonished that they could be more devious than he expected. "If we _did_ tell you, like the last time, you'd run away. Again."  
  
Hokuto blinked at him this time with an annoyed tone. "Subaru…"  
  
So, Subaru found himself an hour later in a subway heading towards wherever the schedule said to go to. Seishirou was next to him with a calm and happy demeanor. Well, that's what Subaru could only guess because Seishirou was smiling to himself.   
  
Subaru slumped in his chair thinking he had wanted to stay home.   
  
"You hate me, don't you?" Seishirou suddenly asked as he looked at Subaru with worried eyes.  
  
"Hate you? For what?"  
  
"Taking you out of your apartment. You probably wanted to stay there, didn't you?" Seishirou then laughed as he patted the back of his head uncertainly. "How could I have thought you wanted to hang out with an old guy like me?"  
  
Seishirou hit Subaru where it hurt.  
  
Sympathy, you've got to love it.  
  
Subaru, still in denial, shook his head. "I w-wanted to stay home, but..."  
  
Then he blushed even more. "N-no, that's not what I meant. I want to go out with you…am I making any sense here?"  
  
At that moment, Seishirou smiled as he shook his head. "You're cute when you're flustered."  
  
"Huh?" Subaru asked, but Seishirou didn't answer as the train was coming to a complete stop.   
  
They got off and Seishirou looked at the list. Pointing west, Subaru followed him to a bookstore. When they had gotten there, Seishirou led him to the manga section.   
  
"Don't laugh," Seishirou whispered as he pulled out a manga from one of the shelves. It was called Wish.  
  
Subaru opened his eyes a bit wide.  
  
He couldn't believe that Seishirou could pick up the same manga he wanted to. Now, he didn't want to even touch it.  
  
"Hokuto had that on her list?" Subaru asked with eyes still wide from curiosity. Seishirou shook his head. "No, I just like it. 'sides, I can keep it at the clinic if anyone wants to read it."  
  
Looking at the shelves together, Seishirou then said, "I'm not on this because I conspired with your sister."  
  
Subaru seemed unconvinced.  
  
Who would want to go on a date him so badly? Especially a guy? Especially this handsome vet?  
  
"It was my excuse to get to know you better," Seishirou said while blushing a bit and clearing his throat. He smiled at Subaru as he continued to look at the stacks. "I know I'm selfish, but I can't help it."  
  
Can't help what?  
  
He looked at Seishirou's profile, but his words had touched him a bit with their sincerity. Subaru could never understand why he couldn't straight out tell Seishirou that he had no chance with him.  
  
Well, that was because, deep inside, he wanted to believe.  
  
He wanted to see what Hokuto and Seishirou saw.  
  
At that moment, he took out the last manga of Wish. "This is one of my favorites. Blame Hokuto-chan."  
  
Then, with a smile, he turned around to go to the front to pay for it.  
  
Seishirou stared at his adorable companion for a moment before walking behind him.  
  
When they were out of the bookstore, Seishirou turned to Subaru and pulled on his arm. Seishirou's touch was warm…  
  
…almost as calm and serene as that sakura tree in his dream.  
  
Subaru tried to dismiss this inside of his head.  
  
He'd fall hard if he continued for the rest of that day with this thought inside of his head. Also, there was still that murmuring feeling that came faintly also.  
  
The one that said, "No, Subaru."  
  
But was it his own fear for his shortcomings or that the development of this relationship could be wrong? He couldn't understand it at that moment.  
  
All he knew at that moment was that this person holding him sincerely wanted to be with him, even for a little while. He was just borrowing him from his everyday life being a student, an heir, or an omnyouji user.  
  
Today…  
  
Today was different.  
  
They were 'normal', doing everyday things. He could be himself.  
  
Whomever that was…because he was still trying to find who that was…  
  
At this thought, Subaru pushed a tear away because he was happy and sad at the same time.  
  
"Did I do something wrong already?" Seishirou sighed as he stopped walking. "Maybe I should take you home."  
  
Subaru shook his head as he smiled while looking at Seishirou. While not looking at Seishirou's face, he pushed Seishirou's hand from his elbow, to take his gloved hand. "Take me to wherever today."  
  
Without another word, Seishirou set off to go to a pet store. When they went inside, Subaru frowned a bit.  
  
"It's different from being in the clinic," Seishirou explained. "The animals in my clinic are sick, but I thought I'd take you here for a change."  
  
It was a nice thought, but Subaru looked at the animals. They were talking to him, telling him they wished they could leave as freely. All he could do was pat them, even if the sign said not to.  
  
His heart was about to break, so he couldn't stay there for too long.  
  
"I had a dog once, and it died," Subaru said as they were walking down the street. "I couldn't do anything for him. So, now I'm studying hard so that I'll be able to make it up to him someday."  
  
Seishirou just nodded his head understandingly while still holding onto Subaru's hand firmly. "If you love animals so much, why did you look like you were going to cry?"  
  
"Eh?" Subaru looked at Seishirou. H e didn't know that someone, well anyone, would notice this about him because, usually, people didn't.  
  
But Seishirou did.  
  
"I…" Subaru couldn't look at Seishirou and avoided his gaze. "I keep on wondering if humans are the same. We say we're free, but we're still caged by the way we live, think, and how the world works. We stay on Earth and live here, yet we still believe that we're privileged to."  
  
He thought of himself, the way he lived, and the way he had to live as he said this to him.  
  
"That's what you think…" Seishirou pondered aloud, but Subaru couldn't figure out the statement at all, if it was bad or good that Seishirou had said this.  
  
Subaru then asked, "Well, what do you think?"  
  
Carefully, Seishirou answered, "I think that life is a circle of events and things that serve as catalysts for other people and things. I don't fill pity or sympathy for the fact that living things and nonliving things do experience the same things, just in different forms. Only, living things can actually react. But isn't it worse for an old temple that can't cry out that it needs to protect the spirits, people, and things around that particular area, only to be demolished because it _can't_ say anything?"  
  
"That's why I always cry whenever I see a temple or shrine being torn down," Subaru answered softly.  
  
Seishirou sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to depress you."  
  
Subaru shook his head as Seishirou asked while to change the mood of the conversation, "The question of the day!"  
  
"The question of the day?" He repeated uncertainly while he thought this was a strange way to put it.  
  
"I can't bring you back home without answering this part of the scavenger hunt."  
  
Subaru laughed. "Is that what you guys called it?"  
  
"Actually, Hokuto-chan called this the 'Get-to-know-each-other-date, attempt 300'!" Seishirou explained while trying to control his laughter.   
  
Subaru continued laughing. "Coming from the girl who goes out at least 4 nights a week, only because she regulates herself."  
  
The sun was beginning to set and they had walked and talked for most of the day. Well, it was more Seishirou talking and Subaru listening with interest.  
  
"We're here," Seishirou finally said when he stopped in front a small shop.  
  
"An ice cream shop?" Subaru looked up to the sign and was kind of dumbfounded that the 'ultimate question' of this whole trip was for ice cream.  
  
Then again, it was a Hokuto-type of thing. How could he have doubted that it would be otherwise?  
  
When they went inside, Seishirou asked, "And what's your favorite ice cream flavor?"  
  
Subaru pursed his lips together and leaned close to Seishirou. He answered, "Hi. Mi. Tsu."  
  
Seishirou, shook his head and smiled, half-surprised and half-enticed by Subaru's teasing. "I'm going to find out what that flavor is."  
  
Subaru shrugged his shoulders with a twinkle in his eyes. "Maybe."  
  
In the end, an exhausted but determined Seishirou got a cappuccino flavored ice cream with almonds and large chunks of chocolate. As they were going out, he just thrust the cone into Subaru's hands. "Even if we have to go here everyday, I'm going to find out."  
  
Subaru laughed, but he blurted out while taking a delicious lick from his ice cream. "Why so determined?"  
  
"Because men always fall for beautiful faces?" he answered while smirking.  
  
Subaru couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but he could feel the warmth of his cheeks.  
  
"But I'm a guy," Subaru replied with a hint of disappointment. But honestly, he couldn't tell Seishirou how he really felt about himself and if Seishirou was uncomfortable with him.  
  
With a reflective look, Seishirou continued to eat his ice cream as he answered, "I didn't know at the time."  
  
"When I tripped on the platform?"  
  
He just shook his head. Then, Seishirou turned and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care. I never cared what other people have thought, so why should I start now? I only care about making myself happy."  
  
"How about me?" Subaru chimed in with a skip of a heartbeat with it.  
  
They entered Ueno Park and sat on a bench while looking at the playground before them.  
  
"Why must you ask these things, Subaru?" Seishirou replied to his question.  
  
Subaru's hope faded with this statement. And so, he ate in silence.  
  
Seishirou then threw his cone into the trashcan and grabbed Subaru's shoulder. Intoxicating himself with Subaru's scent, he closed his eyes.  
  
The same scent from so many years ago. The one he had followed.  
  
It wasn't only because of the hands he had scarred, but because the boy made him see something he couldn't admit to himself. The humanity he thought he had lost all these years, it was still pulsating throughout his body.  
  
"I want you to grieve for me when I die," he thought to himself as he found himself absorbing Subaru. "Selfish at it is…even when I don't deserve it from you. I want you to, Subaru."  
  
He remembered Subaru's wide eyes and him whispering of when they would meet again.  
  
Subaru was still shocked from this reaction from Seishirou. And as some people were walking by, they made comments and he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed by this outward display of affection.  
  
Subaru then smiled softly as he leaned his head on Seishirou's shoulder as Seishirou sat straight up, but still with his arm around Subaru.   
  
It was then that Subaru closed his eyes sleepily and peacefully. "You know? I had a strange dream last night."  
  
"Yeah?" Seishirou answered.  
  
"I had a dream that we were Wish characters. We lived in my apartment, but when you opened the back door, there was a really large garden.   
  
"I would water that garden like Kohaku, but you would get mad at me like Shuuichirou. You gave me this look for wetting you with all the water, but I would always say 'Sumimasen! Sumimasen!' Not like I don't do that enough already, but you get the idea."  
  
Subaru's smile became very soft as he continued, "And it was very peaceful, but there was something missing. I would always tell you, 'I think I lost something.' You would tell me every time, 'Don't worry, you'll find it.'  
  
"I believed those words, but throughout the dream, I kept on looking, even when I turned into a chibi angel. There was something tugging on my heart and I didn't know what it was, but I knew there was _something_."  
  
"Did you find it?" Seishirou asked as he rubbed my arm.  
  
"No, I didn't. Until one day, I went up to the sakura tree one morning. For some reason, it looked different that morning that I had watered it. It was so pretty that I went up to it. I wanted to absorb this feeling.  
  
"I felt complete as I touched its bark. Closing my eyes, I began to sing that song of Hokuto's 'I wish'. It was then that I realized, when I woke up, that Hokuto wasn't there. She was there, but not there at the same time."  
  
They sat there silently as evening was approaching.  
  
"I…I didn't like that," he finally said, but even more silence followed.  
  
Subaru's thoughts were fading, but as he kept his eyes closed, he was trying to remember this moment in his head. This feeling that would come and go so easily.  
  
Something told him, "You already know who your death angel is. You're just denying it."  
  
He wanted to know, but then he didn't.  
  
There were so many questions he wanted to ask but there were as many answers he didn't think he could face at that moment.  
  
As if his heart had spilled from him, his face looked worried and concerned. Sleepily, he answered, "You've got the right flavor. That was my favorite."  
  
"I know," Seishirou had wanted to say. "I cheated."  
  
Subaru then fell asleep while Seishirou held him close to him while looking down at his peaceful and cute sleeping face. He recalled what he had said, "I don't care. I never cared what other people have thought, so why should I start now? I only care about making myself happy."  
  
He still saw Subaru's hopeful, yet disappointed, green eyes looking into his while asking, "How about me?"  
  
"You never had to ask, Subaru," Seishirou whispered to his ear. "You were always part of that plan."  
  
"Ever since the first day I met you…" he thought to himself while he remembered the scent of Subaru's breath when he had put him to sleep and watched that child sleeping in his arms so many years ago. "I looked and looked for that flavor like a deranged man. More than I am now."  
  
At that moment, unconsciously, Subaru smiled beautifully.   
  
Owari.  
  
--  
  
Author's note: This fic is dedicated to my friend, Winnie the Pooh. Okay, here's the fic we talked about over the phone. I hoped it was to your liking. ^_^ Also, I hope it wasn't too long. I was tempted to make this a multi-chap, but if I did, it would take a long time to finish it. So, I decided against that.  
  
Yes, so, um, this is kind of different from other fics I've done, but that's what I was aiming for in the first place. Subaru's character is twisted and contorted. Very different for the take of Subaru that I usually do, but I wanted a Subaru who was more than just warm-hearted. I wanted him to have some happiness, quietly as it may appear here. Then again, the damn boy hardly speaks. (And X doesn't help. Damn hiatus.)  
  
Regardless, I wanted Subaru to be believable in this role, Seishirou as sexy as ever, and Hokuto (the I-wish-I-could-take-her-place woman). All I wanted was to keep their essence.  
  
I do understand that this fic may rot your teeth a little, but hey, some people need a semi-cute fic. (I'm kind of getting depressed and saddened over my angsty fics myself.)  
  
When I started the fic though, I had this idea with Wish! (After all, it is my second favorite Clamp title. It _was_ first except Subaru….yeah, Subaru's my main addiction.)  
  
(This is the third fic of the Mahou series.)  
  
translation of Wish lyrics – "If I can be near you, keeping whatever courage I have…"  
  
Hanami – cherry bloosom/sakura viewing time (around March-April).  
  
Aisu kurimu – the phonetic sounds for 'Ice Cream'.  
  
Himitsu - secret 


End file.
